— Sue Zhao (via blossomfully) —

How are you?“ I ask. And by that, I suppose I mean, have you found someone new? I’ve been looking at your Facebook profile but you haven’t updated it in a while.

“I’m well, thanks,” you say. But, really, that doesn’t answer my question.

“Are you happy?” I almost blurt out, but that’s too personal. I can’t ask that sort of question anymore; I haven’t the right.

“Are you well?” you say calmly.

“Yes,” I reply. No, I think.

“That’s good.”

This conversation is knocking the wind out of me. Why does it leave me so empty?

Small talk is for strangers and we knew each other inside out. Knew. Past tense. I guess that’s why.

You give me a small smile. It’s the awkward smile you used to give the homeless on the street. Suddenly, I feel disgusting. In this moment I realise it doesn’t matter whether you’ve found someone new.

I’ve lost you already.

I probably lost you a long time ago.

A I